Iris
by Calm bevor the storm
Summary: Just a little songfic I wrote. Paring: Harryanybody, Read and enjoy. Slash


**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own the Harry Potter Characters nor did I write the song Iris. All of Harry Potter is owned by Joanne K. Rowling and others, also the song I used was performed by Ronan Keating. So don't sue me, but enjoy instead! No profit is being made here! ;;**

**Iris  
**

Everyone worshiped me as a hero of some sort just because I somehow defeated Voldemort when I was merely 1 year old. The people of the wizarding world lived their happy lives after that and left their hero to fend for himself after I had fulfilled my purpose the first time around.

_My purpose_.

What was my purpose? To kill a mad man that nobody was able to kill before? To solve the problems of all wizard kind with a sacrifice of one boy? Hadn't the sacrifice of my parents been enough? Of my whole family? Of my childhood? All I ever wanted to be was normal. Maybe I would be finally happy in my life? With him by my side?

**_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cuz I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven  
That I'll ever be  
And I don't wanna go home right now_**

Home? Here was my home. Has ever been. Right in the arms of my lover. I took a look at the digital clock on the all too familiar nightstand next to the king size bed I was currently occupying. It showed 5:30 am. I had time enough to get showered and dressed before heading back to my prison cell, also called The Dursley Household at Number 4, Privet Drive.

**And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breath is your life  
Cuz sooner or later its over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight**

When I came back out of the shower to get my clothes I stopped at the sight on the bed. I just stood there for several minutes watching my lover sleeping undisturbed by nightmares of his own. He looked so peaceful lying halfway under the silk covers. I sighed. Here was my sanctuary, my save haven from all my problems and the dangers of the outside world.**  
**  
**I don't want the world to see me  
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am**

Although I yearned for this calm inside of me all my life I knew it couldn't last. I loved the time I spent with him during the holidays. He was always there for me. I told myself again and again that I would tell him next year that I loved him. Tell him next year who I really was. But as the minutes passed by with me staring at the still form on the bed I knew that I would never tell him.

**And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive**

This moment was so real, but it seemed to be like a fairytale to me. And the fairytale that was Hogwarts was my reality. A reality in that people worshipped me in one moment and shunned me the next. A reality that made me to loose nearly everyone close to me. I was ashamed to live in such a world and at the same time to be happy about it. I knew that I couldn't have happiness in both worlds. But why was I so happy at the moment?

**I don't want the world to see me  
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am**

I wished I could tell him who I really was before I go. I knew that the chances to see him again would be slim as I attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I felt it in me that I didn't have much time left. But every time I spent my holidays with him I felt like I could face one more year in my life. Although I never told him my real name I sometimes wondered how he could know me inside out. He had looked deep into my soul somehow and comforted me like no other would ever be able to do. Had I been able to comfort him? To give him what he searched for? Was I able to be his hero like so many seems to see me as?

I always wondered what my purpose was. Now I knew that I haven't got a purpose. No one has. It is the decisions each individual makes that forms ones life, ones future. And as I watched my lover sleeping I decided to fight for what I believed in.


End file.
